Dear Amma,
it must be true that challenges make us stronger.
But, after so many challenges, how come I do not feel stronger?
And when faced with the same challenges again, why is it that I do not feel more able to overcome it?
Is it because I have still a way to go to 'level up'?
Or maybe I just need more practice?
Or more skills?
Whatever it is, I just need to be better.
And clearly, I am not.

Maybe you have your reasons, Amma.
Of course you do.
I'm obviously not ready, because I have this thing called EGO.
I WANT to be good, but I'm not READY to be good. Because if I'm good, more EGO will come.

So Amma, is that what I have to learn? To be ignorant first? Like what Swamiji said today? Was that message meant for me?
Yes, I'd like to think it is.

Thank you Amma. PLease help me learn and grow and be better.... all from nothing.

And please also help me remember... what a blessing it is to be able to play in the first place =)

Dear Amma,
Please give me the strength to make a difference, to do your work, to make an impact, to think positive, to not be tired, to have the STRENGTH to think positive and... continue what I started out to do.

Thank you Amma.

Dear Amma,
I just want us to be friends forever. To be able to chat about anything and everything. I don't want anything more, anything less.

Do you think that will come true? The day when he regards me as precious a friend as I regard him?

Whatever happens, Amma, thank you for today. For the chance to ride in the car again. I loved every second of it.

Dear Amma,
Please give me strength.
I just pray for strength.
NO matter what... I just want strength....

AnD

Faith.

Thank you.

Dear Amma,

Can I have more faith?
What's wrong with me?
After so many years, why am I still unable to be happy, simply because I want to be? Is not having you in my life a good enough reason? Why am I still sad?
Amma, please help me!
The tears that came from nowhere scared and still scares me.
They remind me of the time I was in N*F*. When they wouldn't stop. I don't know what made them stop, but I know I am still dependent on my surroundings.
Amma, please make this child stronger.

Dear Amma,
recently I have been writing poetry. It started one evening when I was watching a video of you. Suddenly, I started tearing, even to the surprise of myself. From that experience came a poem.

Since then, I have been writing more poems whenever I have the inspiration - mostly when I'm feeling uncertain or scared. And somehow, putting my feelings into poems do make me feel better.

I had the thought of compiling them and asking S to bring them to the ashram to pass them to you, but I decided that it wouldn't be nice to disturb and take up your time. After all, you DO know them already. Who else could have given me the inspiration?

Amma, I will be going to the international conference after all. I have made it thus far, and I want to thank you for your Grace. I also want to thank you for the lessons in faith and surrender. I tried my best not to worry, and I prayed very hard for things to turn out well, and I hope I have not let you down where this was concerned! Amma, I hope to continue seeing challenges and adversities in life as chances to get closer to You, I hope I will not lose faith, and I hope to feel your presence always despite whatever life throws at me.

Thank you, Amma.

Teach me, Amma, teach me to see
that though you are far away
your love is just inside me

Teach me, Amma, teach me to know
that through my sorrowful tears
you can hear all my worries

Teach me, Amma, teach me to trust
that you have divine plans
of which I am just a part

Teach me, Amma, teach me to hear
your guiding voice within me
that I may find peace

Teach me, Amma, teach me to feel
the love that never runs dry
so that I may love the world too.

Dear Amma,
Thank you! I will be going, and they are subsidizing 80% of the official costs, which includes accommodation! Thank you so much. You know what else I'm worried about now. Thy will be done. Thank you!

Dear Amma,
it seems that recently I've been feeling the urge to write... in a more poetic manner.
I don't think there's anything special yet. BUt as with all your plans and leelas, they start small :)

I've also been getting the feeling that I could play the piano in front of you someday. Something along the lines of a classical piece. But then the doubts come in,  about whether I'm good enough, about what others will think of me, about the public and what if there're experts among them, what if I make mistakes. Blah.  Why don't I have enough faith, Amma?

I realise that I can be happy as long as I choose to be. Happiness is a choice, Amma, please help me make the correct choice.

Thank you!

Dear Amma,
Please give me the strength to go through with the writing of the paper. I know I am fortunate to have been given the chance to do this, and I believe it's your will. Please let everything turn out well, please let me have faith, to trust in you, and to remain true to what I believe in. Amma, please help me, for your help is needed much more than any help the lecturers could give. I also thank you for them, for their help in making this journey possible. Amma, please guide this child to where you want her to go. I need your light, Amma, for without you I am in darkness. Please lead the way, Amma, and give me the faith to follow. Thank you!

Dear Amma,
I'm so happy he's taking notice of me. Now more so than ever, that's what I feel.
Are we friends?
But we don't go out together.
Do we need to go out to be friends?
Or are we still just acquaintances?
But we talked so much.
And we can talk so much more, if given the chance.
Am I just too shy?
Or is he really just too dense?
Are we fated to remain this way forever?
Thank you Amma.